Transitioning back into the workplace after parental leave can be a challenge and for parents of multiples, these challenges can reach new heights. Dr Talia Trigger is a Rural Generalist with advanced skills in emergency medicine, working at the Surat Multipurpose Health Service on a two week on/ two week off roster. As a mum to three girls including twin toddlers, Talia has a wealth of experience transitioning back into the workplace and credits her husband for the smooth transition.
“After having around ten months off with the twins, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious about how we were going to juggle the new 'normal'; not only my return to work, but coming to terms with being away from the kids again. But to be honest, it's been quite a smooth transition. I'm extremely fortunate to have a wonderful husband who is nothing but supportive and is more than happy to be the primary carer while I'm on shift. I work two weeks on with 24/7 on call roster, followed by two weeks off. When I'm on shift my husband does most of the household tasks and is the primary carer for the girls, then when I'm on days off we swap roles. It works quite well but mornings can be chaotic! We rely on daycare when my husband is at work as our closest supports/family are five hours away. This can make the juggle hard when the kids are sick... sometimes the town has to go without a doctor for a day while I am mum to sick children at home”.
Parenthood has shown Talia that priorities naturally change and it’s ok to put your family first when they need you. “I can now empathise and appreciate more than ever that your whole life is not medicine, even if you're still training. I think I have a much better grasp on the juggle and realistic goals now! If my family needs me, work waits. Unfortunately for a small town with only one doctor, that means there is no doctor for the community while I am on leave. Sometimes you can feel quite guilty for putting your community in that position, but it helps to remind yourself that with modern technology help is never far away. Our local health team are very good at working up patients that present and liaising with TEMSU and/or our hub site Roma, about ongoing management and care. It was only a few years ago that this was not available or readily accessible”.
Talia first transitioned back into the workplace in 2020 after the birth of her first daughter, but her recent return after having twins was a lot more challenging.
“Having one child can be hard enough, they need you for comfort, feeding, entertaining, and to get through regressions and new developmental milestones. Even though it can get overwhelming, you still have the physical capability to do those things when it's only one child. With two…. you have all the milestones and changes happening at the same time for both children. Double the opportunity for sleep deprivation, sickness, feeding, but the most challenging is trying to cuddle and comfort both at once! The most fun recent challenge is their crawling efforts, as they never crawl in the same direction. When my husband and I are at home together it's significantly easier to manage, as we can care for one each - but on your own it can be one very… exhausting… day”.
Living in an area without family supports or close friends means that Talia and her husband have learnt to rely on each other. “My husband has sacrificed more than I have, to allow me to return to work and provide for my family. It's a team effort. We do have daycare for the girls a few days a week so my husband can still work, and we have a lovely young babysitter who occasionally helps when we get a bit stuck, but otherwise it's just us. This also means that we need to factor these expenses into our budget, and with the rising cost of living, this is getting harder”.
When Talia isn’t working, she loves stepping into mum mode and being involved in normal community activities. “I LOVE getting out and about in my community, just as mum. I leave my doctor hat behind, and we go to playgroups and library visits. The under 8’s day is coming up and I can’t wait to take my eldest along. The community are all very welcoming and I love the opportunity to just be mum for a bit”.
One of the biggest challenges Talia acknowledges as a working parent, is the struggle to take time for yourself, as there is no such thing as ‘time off’. “When you're not at work, you're looking after your kids and vice versa. Before having children I would look forward to my days off for some alone time, especially if it was a big work week, but once you have a family there is that added element of difficulty to get your hands on some downtime. You really have to prioritise and carve out chunks of time where you can just be with yourself, debrief from work and life and refill your cup. By nature, our job involves a lot of giving - giving of time, skills, knowledge, help and then it's the same with having kids. It's very easy to forget to look after yourself”.
Talia recommends having a “plan of attack” for the week ahead, organising as much as possible before the week starts to make sure you get access to that precious down time. “If you have a partner, make sure you discuss in depth what you both have on and what you both want to achieve for the week. This doesn't just mean work and household tasks; this needs to include self-care and downtime. The process can feel tough, but you need to prioritise yourself and your own needs as well. Each week we try to make sure that we both get to do things we enjoy, for me this is gardening, catching up with a friend, or reading a book in peace. And make sure you prioritise some family time, it's so easy to get caught up in ‘just keeping everyone alive’ mode and getting tasks done, but you need to remember who you're doing this for.
This all stands true whether you have singletons or multiples. For multiples specifically, get help if you can. Outsource tasks that you can afford to and have access to. Don't feel ashamed or guilty when you ask for help, not even for one second, because although you can do those tasks you need to prioritise where you spend your time.”
Having a plan in place to transition back into ‘work mode’ can help set you up mentally and professionally. Whether that’s contact days to re familiarise yourself with the work environment and sort out IT passwords, or reviewing clinical guidelines at home to ensure you are up to date with current practises.
“I've found it useful to try and pick an area of my job to refresh my knowledge around. Before I started back at work, I went through the main chronic disease management guidelines to see if any changes had occurred to best practice whilst I was away. I also linked back in with work before my first shift to learn any major changes to the practice locally. This meant that my first shift back wasn't filled with an overwhelming amount of catching up on things, on top of the stress of returning to work. No one wants to spend their first day back seeing a full clinic, juggling ED presentations whilst on the phone trying to reset all your work passwords!”
Talia is optimistic about her future as a working mum. “I love being a mum and a doctor. Yes, it can be hard, but it’s worth it. My community has a stable doctor, and my girls will grow up to appreciate the work I do. My eldest always loves telling people that ‘her mummy helps people’ and I love that she is proud of me for that. It makes everything worth it”.